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The deep fragrance of soy and garlic wafted out to the nurses' station from Mrs. Lee's room, signaling that her daughter, Mrs. Wong, had arrived with lunch. Time for me to make rounds. Mrs. Wong was her mother's interpreter and advocate, as well as her cook. When I walked in, Mrs. Wong was untying the handles of white plastic bags bearing red Chinese lettering. Inside were rectangular plastic cont...

Alzheimer's disease steals a person's privacy as surely as it steals memory. At a certain stage, your loved one may recall a time when she could bathe herself, but that time has passed. As a caregiver, it's your job to keep her clean while maintaining her comfort and dignity. The job description will change constantly with the disease. At first, the person in your care may feel embarrassed about ...

For 20 years, Robyn Yale has been on a mission to raise awareness that people with early-stage Alzheimer's disease can still lead rich, active lives. A licensed clinical social worker who practices in the San Francisco Bay Area, Yale says that the early stage of the disease is different from what happens in middle and later stages. People in the early stages are healthy, high functioning, and in m...

Most caregivers will do practically anything for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease. They'll give baths, help to dress the person, cut up food into manageable bites, and patiently answer the same question 20 times in a row. But when a patient starts wetting or soiling himself, even the most dedicated caregivers can feel defeated. It's hard to face the prospect of constantly cleaning urine stain...

People with Alzheimer's disease often act as if their minds are caught in an endless tape loop. They may ask the same question 20 times in an afternoon, pace a stretch of floor for hours, or hum a tune that never seems to run out of verses. Many have a condition called echolalia, in which the patient repeats words endlessly or echoes a phrase. If you're caring for someone with the disease, this so...

Before your loved one developed Alzheimer's disease, the two of you used to talk about anything and everything. But what do you say now that he can't remember your name? The right words can be hard to find, but they're more important than ever. Simple, reassuring messages can give your loved one comfort and guidance -- the two things Alzheimer's patients most desperately need. Staying positive ...

With all of the difficulties facing people with Alzheimer's disease -- not to mention their caregivers -- oral hygiene may seem like a trivial issue. Getting a person clean and dressed is hard enough. Who has time to worry about a few cavities or slipping dentures? As it turns out, you do. Investing that time can be one of the most important things you do for your loved one. Dental hygiene cruci...

It was during the busy Christmas season when I turned my car into the parking lot of the funeral home. This patient was my third to die in the past few weeks, and tonight was my second wake in three days. It was not easy to make the stop that evening. The holiday season is a difficult time for me to practice medicine; patients are more lonely and depressed, families are under greater stress, and ...

Your father puts on his pants one leg at a time, just as he has done since childhood. But today, there's something different. Your father has Alzheimer's disease, and this morning, unlike every other morning for the last 70 years, he's pulling on his pants on top of his pajamas. For Alzheimer's patients and their caregivers, the seemingly simple act of getting dressed can turn into a minefield of...

In a memoir about caring for her husband, who had Alzheimer's disease, Lela Knox Shanks recalls that he once shouted at her, "Get out of here! You're an impostor trying to break up my marriage!" Afraid for her safety, she ran out the back door, sat in the sun, and cried, trying to figure out what to do. After 30 minutes or so, she tapped hesitantly at the back door. Her husband opened it, and excl...

Sometimes it seems people with Alzheimer's disease have lost all concept of boredom. How else could they stand to spend a day staring at the same wall or shuffling up and down the same hallway? The truth is, Alzheimer's patients may feel boredom as deeply as anyone else. And when they can no longer plan their own activities, the boredom can turn to frustration. A person may start wandering the ho...

When Marge Burger's husband died of a heart attack seven years ago, she made a sad discovery: Widows don't get invited to many dances. Or card games. Or dinners. "I still had loyal friends, but I just didn't seem to fit in," she says. Like many seniors her age, the 74-year-old resident of Portland, Oregon, slipped into a quiet, lonely rut. She enjoyed time with her children and grandchildren, but...

At 104, my great-aunt Lenore Schaeffer* was a sort of living legend. She appeared in Newsweek and on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, but not only because she had outlived most of her peers and the average American. It's because she out-danced most of them too. Schaeffer was probably the oldest American competitive ballroom dancer. And she had a formidable collection of trophies and medals to show ...

No matter what your age, there's nothing fun about sweating out a heat wave. The air gets thick, asphalt turns sticky, and a walk to the corner can feel like an ordeal. But if you're a senior citizen, hot weather can be much more than just a nuisance. The body's natural defenses against heat can break down with age, putting seniors at risk for heat stroke, heat exhaustion, and other serious disord...

Alzheimer's disease is like a cat burglar. It slips into a person's life without making a sound, and soon treasured possessions start disappearing: memory, personality, independence. For many years, even the top medical detectives in the country were baffled by such robbery. Doctors knew that the brains of people with Alzheimer's were filled with tangled strings of protein and sticky clumps of pl...

Most of us are choosy when it comes to mattresses, sheets, and pillows, and for good reason: We tend to spend more time in bed than any other single place. For people who are chronically ill or disabled, a quality bed isn't just a luxury item -- it's a necessity. The right bed can bring much-needed comfort. Most important, for people who are bedridden, or who sit or lie in the same position for ho...

You can't take it with you. We've all heard the expression, we all know it, but few of us want to think about it. But consider what can happen if you die without leaving a will. Without a legal will in place, there's no guarantee that what you own will go to the people you want, or that your children will be cared for by someone you know and trust. If you and your spouse have children under 18 a...

Although my father had battled a rare but non-metastasizing form of cancer for 25 years, my mother had never been sick a day in her life. The alarming news of her illness, that it was not arthritis but in fact Lou Gehrig's disease with an accompanying Alzheimer's-type dementia, came from out of a cruel nowhere one September day in 1991. It came at the same time that my father was beginning to real...

Louis Benton, Jr. has nine brothers and sisters. But when his mother had a breast cancer recurrence and his father was diagnosed with bone cancer a few months later, Benton was the one who came to his parents' aid. "I had retired three years ago, so it fell into my hands," says Benton. "I can't describe what it's like to have both parents sick at the same time." Cancer is in large part a disease...

For someone with limited mobility, the journey from the bed to the bathroom can seem like a cross-country trek. And even if she can reach the destination, she may not be able to sit down on the toilet. In this situation, many caregivers have turned to an unappealing but convenient option: The bedpan. Bedpans are a good choice only if your relative can tell you when she needs it, and if someone i...

It was the call that every adult child dreads: My mother had become terminally ill with Lou Gehrig's disease, and my father was dying of cancer. Both of my parents were dying, and I lived 1,200 miles away with a career and family of my own. In my youth, when my parents were healthy, I had longed to leave their nest; now that they were ill, the distance between us weighed heavily. When I went home...

If you're caring for a chronically ill or disabled friend or relative, you've joined one of the biggest -- and most important -- workforces in the country. According to the Family Caregiver Alliance (FCA), an estimated 44 million Americans have taken on this vital job. They fix meals, make doctor's appointments, do the laundry, and generally make sure their frail or sick relatives or friends can l...

Michelle Booth of Foster City, California, moved in with her parents 10 years ago, her three-year-old daughter in tow. Her parents were both in their late 70s, but they had the strength and the good health to be helpful, doting grandparents. That was before her father -- now 88 -- suffered several strokes and before her mother -- now 87 -- developed Alzheimer's disease. Booth still lives with he...

For a full year following my parents' deaths -- five weeks apart, in a nursing home 1,200 miles away -- I fell prey to clinical depression. Although I did everything I could to give them the best possible care, I never budgeted time for myself. I didn't realize that by ignoring my physical and mental health during two years of intensive caregiving, I was setting myself up for a breakdown that woul...

It was more than a decade ago when Shawna Lee stepped into the sun room of her parents' house in Champaign, Illinois, and found her 60-year-old mother, Hsiu Lee, looking disoriented. "She told me, 'Your grandfather treated me badly his whole life.' Then she started crying and told me she couldn't button her blouse." "I thought this was weird and called the doctor, who said to come in right away," ...

Stroke survivors often feel as though they're lost in an alien landscape. Words can lose their meaning, familiar places and objects can become bewildering, and even the simplest tasks can seem overwhelming. Sufferers may someday return to their old world, but they can't make the trip on their own. For these reasons, stroke survivors need a concerned caregiver who can help ease the way to recovery....

What is elderlaw? Your lifestyle, ambitions, and worries all change with age -- and so can your legal needs. Senior citizens who have never hired an attorney in their lives may suddenly find themselves thumbing through the phone book when it's time to plan their estates, fight for Medicare benefits, arrange for long-term health care, or write a will. Fortunately, a growing number of attorneys acro...

A better understanding of pain -- and how to treat it -- means a gentler death for many patients with terminal illnesses. People who are near death have more important things to do than suffer. The final days, weeks, and months should be a time to connect with loved ones and reflect on life, says Kandyce Powell, RN. As the executive director of the Maine Hospice Council, Powell has stood at the si...

Like Scarlett O'Hara who put off thinking about anything unpleasant until tomorrow, most Americans aren't planning for how they'll pay for a nursing home or at-home care should they need it when they're old, disabled or chronically sick. Yet for the estimated 2-in-5 among us who will need extended care at some time in our lives, there's a tool that can keep us from racing through our life savings...

Clark and Altave Vandenberg enjoyed living by themselves in their El Sobrante, California, home. Even though their eyesight and health were failing, they adamantly opposed moving to a nursing home. But when Altave fell and broke her hip, her injury shattered the fragile accommodations the couple had made to continue living independently. Clark's ill health left him unable to care for his ailing w...

Beth Johnson's decision to move her mother, Frieda, into her own apartment was agonizing. Frieda had suffered a series of small strokes, and Johnson worried that her mother was too frail to live alone. But after moving into Johnson's Southfield, Michigan, home, Frieda's health problems multiplied. She suffered a series of falls, often calling for her daughter in the middle of the night. Then Frie...

Millions of people care for friends and relatives with no help or compensation, and the hardest working are also the oldest and most vulnerable. At age 86, Alice Wilson of Billings, Montana, is a full-time healthcare worker. In her case, full-time means 24 hours a day. Alice's 81-year-old husband, Gunther, has a congenital condition that allows water to collect in his brain. The condition makes h...

In the end, Superman was brought down by bedsores. Christopher Reeve, the actor who played the superhero in four movies, died in 2004 of complications from infected bedsores that led to sepsis and heart failure, 10 years after a horse-riding accident left him paralyzed from the neck down. (He also had an allergic shock reaction to the drug used to treat the systemic infection from the sores, whic...

Poor Meg Ryan. She's ministering to her ailing father's every need while running a family and a business. Her older sister, a celebrity, is far too busy to help out, although she manages to lecture Meg by cell phone from her empire at a vapid women's magazine. The youngest sister also watches from the sidelines: She's obsessed with perfecting the soap opera character she plays on TV. Naturally the...

When John Baylis's 94-year-old mother fell and broke her shoulder, he knew it was time to talk about a touchy subject: the possibility of helping her with her financial affairs. But she flat-out refused to discuss it. "I'll die in my bed and not be a bother to anyone," she snapped. Two years later, overwhelmed from trying to keep track of her money and pay taxes, she finally relented. Baylis was ...

Ethelinn Block thought her father's strange behavior was just signs of grief over the loss of his wife, and that he would return to normal in time. But after three years, Arthur's decline became alarming. He forgot to pay bills and keep appointments; he misplaced things. His business faltered to the point that his children had to close it down. As loss piled upon loss, eventually the family had to...

When her 69-year-old husband died of Alzheimer's disease, Dorothy Wellborn was surrounded by loving friends and family. She wept with them at the memorial service. She watched as the coffin closed on her husband's frail body, then went home with her children. But a few weeks later, when they flew back to their respective homes, she woke up to an empty house. The solitude was agonizing, especially...

Baby boomers everywhere are just starting to approach what they thought they never would: old age. Lots of the people born between 1946 and 1964 (the dictionary definition of a boomer) are now eligible for senior citizen discounts at restaurants. Many have grandchildren. And many have sore, creaky joints, the ultimate badge of aging. At 41, Chris Webb of Billings, Montana, was at the younger end ...

How serious is the flu? Many people think the flu is nothing more than a bad cold -- until they come down with it. When your entire body aches, your energy vanishes, and a fever, dry cough, sore throat, and headaches set in, it's impossible to mistake the flu for a mild illness. The flu can hit anybody hard, but it's especially dangerous for people over 65 and others with weak immune system...

At any age, stress is a part of life. Young and old alike have to face difficult situations and overcome obstacles. While young adults struggle to establish a career, achieve financial security, or juggle work and family demands, older people may face failing health or dwindling finances -- or simply the challenges of retaining their independence. Unfortunately, the body's natural defenses against...

Women aren't the only ones who get hot flashes in their later years. Aging men can get them, too, along with osteoporosis, dwindling energy, fading sex drive, and a host of other problems that would be familiar to millions of menopausal women. Over the years, health journalists, members of the general public, and a few doctors have embraced the term "male menopause" to describe the changes that so...

If you're over 60, you may use alcohol in much the way you did when you were younger. You may have a glass of wine at a meal, a beer or two at a ball game, or a gin and tonic at a party with friends. And if your doctor says it's fine for you to drink, there's probably nothing wrong with it. But if you've found yourself feeling tense and irritable when you're not drinking, you may have a problem....

Menopause, strictly speaking, is when you stop having periods, but it is usually identified once it has been a year since your last period. When you've reached menopause, your body's hormonal mix shifts. Both men and women produce the female hormone estrogen and the male hormone testosterone. At menopause the ovaries begin producing more testosterone and less estrogen, and their egg production shu...

Doctors play a vital role in the fight against Alzheimer's disease, but they need help. Close cooperation between doctors, family members, and patients is a vital part of treatment. Doctors need to understand a patient's situation and symptoms in order to make an accurate diagnosis and prescribe the right medication. Meanwhile, patients and family members need to know about the course of the disea...

You get the news Wednesday morning. A colleague has just experienced a death in her family. What should you do or say? What is the correct etiquette in the workplace, and what can you do to ease the pain and transition for your fellow worker? You might send a card or say something to express sympathy. Try to avoid platitudes. It will be better received if you sincerely express your concern or, bet...

Getting a tattoo first occurred to me as I approached my 40th birthday. Even now, 13 years later, I can't say exactly why. I do know what a shrink would say (shrinks tend to be predictable on such matters): "Trying to stave off aging, to regain lost youth" - all that oh-so-obvious stuff, which is boring because it's just plain wrong. A tattoo is far more complex than that. There's a touch of the ...

After raising seven children of their own, 45-year-old Carol Johnson,* and her husband, 46, were ready to make the leap from weary parents to doting grandparents. Instead, they ended up becoming parents all over again. Like most grandparents, Johnson had planned on taking her grandchildren to the park, spoiling them with presents, and leaving the hard work to the parents. But that dream fell apar...

You can't judge drivers by their age -- just look at teen-agers. They receive more citations and cause far more accidents than people in any other age group. However, that doesn't make every teen a menace behind the wheel, and likewise, many seniors continue to be perfectly safe drivers well into their 80s. At last count, there were more than 30 million licensed drivers 65 or older, according to t...

How can seniors benefit from aerobic exercise? Like virtue, exercise is its own reward -- and it can help you feel as strong as you did when John F. Kennedy was president. Lifting weights is an excellent way to roll back the years, but the cornerstone of most senior fitness programs is aerobic exercise. Anything that gets oxygen into your system and works your lungs and heart -- whether it's walk...

Now that you're older, you may not spend much time flexing in front of the mirror or trying to add inches to your vertical leap. So why bother lifting weights? The truth is that building your muscles is more important than ever at this stage of life. Muscles tend to weaken with age, and this decline can eventually rob seniors of their active, independent lifestyles. Fortunately, you can reverse th...

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